Jillian and I recently attended a blanket making party for baby girls in China where gendercide threatens their existence. A powerful need that squeezed my heart the moment I heard. A cause that we could inexpensively contribute to while also enjoying this craft as mama and daughter.
With the chaos of a 6-passenger family, our time to pick out the necessary fabric for these blankets ended up being a trip with all 6 of us in tow. Between crankiness, sensory overload, and preschoolers over-active bladders, the errand turned stressful. My hubby and I tagged team the children, but I was the last one back in the van and carried more than a bag of fabric; I carried the burden of unmet expectations.
My expectations were to simply purchase fabric for 2 blankets, a frugal investment, knowing two baby girls in China would be wrapped in warmth and love in Jesus' Name. But what ended up happening is that on our trip to the fabric store, Jillian wanted to get fabric for a Paris blanket and Braeden wanted to get fabric for an Air Force blanket. When it was all said and done I felt heavy with the weight of my own children's selfishness, but even heavier was the weight that I did not say "no" to their requests.
My mind banter ping-ponged between "why do they have to have everything they see?" to "why didn't you just say "no" and stick to your original plan?". Beating myself up proved useless until it was time to turn all this fabric into blankets. That's when God covered me in a blanket of grace.
The afternoon making our blankets was very special. Jillian teetered between perfectionist and free-spirit as she cut, tied, and prayed over her efforts. The desire to create excellence needed to be balanced with the beauty of imperfect love. Our blankets weren't perfect, but the heart and hands that made them were pure.
All of my fretting about her selfishness in wanting her own blanket disappeared when I read the beautiful note she wrote to the mama of the baby girl that would receive her blanket. It was from Jillian's heart and it was something this mama still ponders and treasures. A little glimpse of what Jesus is doing in the heart of my child.
After arriving home from the blanket making party, Jillian's enthusiasm continued and she wanted to jump right in and begin making her and Braeden's blankets. Mama was tired and had a trophy size blister on my thumb from fighting dull fabric scissors. But Jillian's hands wanted to create more love.
So we closed ourselves off in a room upstairs, and side by side, we spent another few hours cutting, tying, and creating blankets. Music, laughter, a bit of whining by Mama, stiff backs and legs, and the thrill of seeing the completed creations made for an amazing day.
What I saw as unmet expectations, God revealed as exceeding my expectations. The love Jillian felt when she gave Braeden his handmade blanket and the appreciation Braeden showed when he received it, tugged at my heart. I could only see selfishness at the store and it's cost at the cash register. But God could see the love and grace that were yet to come.
And so the gift of fleece blankets just keeps on giving. Jillian is making one for each our foster girls for Christmas and we are collaborating our efforts to make some as inexpensive-priceless gifts for others as well. The time we spend together will be the true gift.
How like our amazing God to turn my original 2 blanket investment of love into something far greater and richer than I could have ever imagined!
