The iPhone Influence

This morning I walked into middle school as part of Parent Visitation day.  The school was buzzing with the every day hustle and bustle of kids and classes.  Memories of my own middle school days quickly came back to me.  So much was the same 25 years later and yet so much was different.

Math class was group activities and worksheets.  Boring, rote, "busy work" worksheets.  Kids working with partners, kids working alone, kids trying to stay focused, and kids totally distracted.  Enrichment class was reading aloud a novel and following the book with the movie.  The current book interested some and others could have cared or less.  Where the book couldn't hold the attention of some, those kids were able to absorb the story line through the movie.  Gym class was a battle of the cliques as kids were able to pick a sports station to participate in.  The dominant children manned their stations and the others could follow at will.  French class was a mix of students going through the required motions, students not even bothering to put forth the effort, and students so completely lost they may not have known they were even in French class.

As I mentioned, so much was the same in middle school 25 years later.  Students, classes, bells, intercom, cafeteria, books, lockers, hallways, worksheets, diverse learning, homework, wide range of attention spans, and teachers carrying the education torch to the next generation.

But what blew my mind was the middle school cell phone craze.  I have been informed of this epidemic many times by my children.  And often I have found it would be helpful for my children to have their own cell phone; convenient, but never necessary.  We've remained steadfast in our resolve against entering "the childhood cell phone society" and I am proud to say each of my children have been very respectful of our decision.  (even if a cell phone is on their Christmas wish list for the third year in a row)

Today, I was able to see first hand how influential the cell phone has become in our middle school.  More students have a cell phone than those who do not.  I was so tempted to take a poll in each classroom.  I probably would have been further shocked by the number of students (besides my own) without a cell phone.

I am confident in my brief visit this morning, I was not able to witness the variety of benefits in having your own cell phone.  Students can access Google, calculator, QR Reader, dictionary, and many other tools at their disposal.  I certainly do not want to come across as "anti-technology" or step on any toes.  Parenting is a tough gig; one where I fall and have to get back up many times!  But today, 25 years after my own middle school journey, there was a distracted atmosphere I can only explain by the "iphone influence".

In each class I visited, cell phones were "accidentally" chiming, dinging, whistling, buzzing, vibrating, and causing an underlying distraction for students and teachers.  Class just seemed like something to do when cell phones weren't an option or couldn't be easily hidden.  If there was a lull in classroom activity, cell phones came to the rescue.  When the bell rang, cell phones were the first thing to be checked.  If a student needed to step out of class, the cell phone was immediately slipped into their pocket first.  During gym class, my purse became "safe keeping" for many cell phones so that students could actually participate in gym class without damaging their phones.

The teachers barely blinked at all these cell phone interruptions.  Occasionally a stern look or raised eyebrow was given signaling the cell phone infraction, but class continued as normal.  Normal for this generation.  Distracted with a white noise of technology.  Students and teachers struggling to focus on learning.  When learning didn't capture their attention, students had their cell phone as entertainment back up.

And I can only surmise the amount of drama and relationship strife that goes on during school hours via this cell phone craze.  Bullying, peer pressure, fashion crises, cheating (relational and academic), fitting in, approval, criticism, he-said-she-said, texting wars, the list goes on.  Proverbs 18:21 tells us that words have the power of life or death.  The cell phone holds the same potential.  The "iphone influence" is just as powerful, and is also capable of instant and widespread devastation with the single click of a "send".

So much life happens at the fingertips of students in middle school, and 25 years later, it seems that this is just how middle school rolls.

Firing the Maid

Mama was inspired by this great book!  (My kids, not so much.)  The author challenged me to jump into action so that my children were no longer served in ways that would not serve them well as adults.  I needed to get rid of my guilt of asking my kids to step up their responsibilities, which meant I needed to fire the maid (aka Mama).

The teen and diva have both been doing their own laundry for quite some time, so I'm guessing they thought they were ahead of their friends in the chores dept.  But really, Mama was behind on her game of equipping them.  They have been capable of so much more for awhile now, but I've caved to the excuse that it would take longer to teach them than to just do it myself.

Somewhere inside I was also probably living by a false truth that as a stay-at-home mama I should be taking care of most chores during the school day.  Serving my family was my job.  Yet really,  I was overloading myself and under-loading everyone else.  The maid had to go.

So today our two worlds collided.  A Saturday with nothing on the calendar + a very dirty house =  Operation Cleaning House.  I organized a chore list for each room of the house, assigned age appropriate tasks for the little girls, let the older kids pick their tasks (making sure they both were able to practice each type of cleaning), and then hubby and I filled in the rest while also completing  the heavy duty ones.  Organization is the antidote to chaos.

The day went remarkably well!  The upstairs was finished by lunchtime and the downstairs (minus Willie's heavy duty kitchen tile scrubbing---which is happening as I type) was finished in time for dinner.  There were plenty of sighs, eye-rolling, grunts, and attempts to opt out, but overall it was a success!  The kids learned how cleaning works, Mama learned perfection is overrated, and the end result is that we have a clean house from top to bottom that everyone can take pride in!  And most importantly, the house was not cleaned by the maid, because each person living in our home is more than able to handle it.

Laundry and cleaning may be small steps in gaining ground against being served, but I am so grateful my children are at least learning how capable they are to serve in their home.  Mama is also learning to empower her peeps which in turn empowers her to serve in areas beyond the home (and not go crazy trying to do it all).

It felt so good to fire the maid today!

We discovered more than dust bunnies:
~no logic supports making your bed everyday
~showers need cleaned???
~clean does not equal spotless
~moving couches is quite revealing
~Swiffer and Duster mean different things to different people
~a lot of people make a lot of dirt
~crumbs and dust will never be totally conquered
~we really like having a clean house!
~those who didn't think they needed to "practice", actually need a lot of practice
~praise is a great motivator
~Windex is NOT a streak-free product
~the maid will not be returning

Bare to be Brave

The dreaded middle school gym class.  The first time kids are required to change into and out of gym clothes........with all the other girls.  It can be an anxiety nightmare.  Insecurities bubble to the surface, fears morph into monsters, acceptance by our peers is on the line, assumed judgement awaits, and the playground of our imagination takes us to the scary worst-case-scenarios.

A few months ago Jillian stood at this crossroad with her 6th grade peers.  The girls locker room provided a number of privacy walls and curtains for girls to change behind, but the number of girls outnumbered these areas.  Sort of like the rescue rafts vs Titanic passengers.  Only a handful of girls could be rescued from changing with all the other girls.

The night before Jillian's next gym class, Mama and daughter cuddled up and dove into these fearful waters together.  What if they tease me?  What if I'm the only one?  What if all the private places are taken?  Mama realized the anxiety of trying to find a private changing place every class was going to be far greater than the anxiety of simply being brave and changing in the open space.

So I spoke courage into my girl.  Be brave.  Be the only one.  Bravery is contagious and it won't take long before you're not the only one.  Instead of praying for the Lord to provide a private area for Jillian to change, we prayed for the Lord to help Jillian be brave and confident in who she is.  Beautiful and strong.  Bare your bravery and you just may breathe confidence into another girl struggling too.

Of course, sometimes we also need a practical plan to compliment our bravery.  A quick trip to Target and Jillian was set.  She was now equipped with a large supply of undergarments that would ensure she only needed to change her shirt and shorts every gym class .  Baby steps to baring bravery.

As I prayed for Jillian the next day, I couldn't help but smile.  She was tackling something this Mama rarely has been able to pull off.  Being me, whether its accepted or criticized.  No matter what the outcome, I was so proud of my girl for choosing bravery over fear.

As soon as Jillian climbed into the van after school, I asked how gym class went.  Her face beamed with a smile and she said, "I did it Mom!"  "I was brave and the other girls saw that."  "I was pretty much the only one to change in the open area."  "But it was ok, we all have the same parts, just in different shapes and sizes."

Oh, my sweet child!  If you can hang on to and keep claiming that bravery, you will go far!  There is so much beauty in being the you Jesus designed.......