I truly believe every woman is born with an innate desire to be found beautiful. I believe it was placed within us for God Himself to validate with His unconditional love. It then naturally moves into the desire for us as wives to be gained from our husbands. We desperately want to be found beautiful by our man.
Yet how often do we ever believe we are beautiful; even when we are told so? By God or by our man? We fill our heads with disclaimers and emphasize our flaws to rationalize how their words can't possibly be true. We stamp out their utterances of beautiful with our bigger stamp of ugly. We override any chance at being found beautiful with our own perceptions of messiness. We are more comfortable believing satan's ugly lies than we are with believing in the beauty God created us to be.
What would happen if we dared to truly believe the words "You are beautiful"? Would we feel vain? Feel like a fraud? Be fearful of someone exposing us? Become twisted up with comparison of different kinds of beauty? satan can gain so much more ground if we stay stuck in the ugly.
My struggle with beauty is becoming more and more real as my own daughter's struggle begins to bubble up to the surface. Last year as a 5th grader her vocabulary was sprinkled with words such as diet, skinny, calories, exercise, fat, weight, scales, treadmill routines, bras, and jean size. It shocked me and hurt me inside for her, but I did nothing but assure her she was "just right" and more beautiful than she could see with her own eyes. (words I struggle to believe about myself, but expected her to easily embrace)
The summer provided reprieve from the daily focus and discussions among friends who were all conscience and processing the same things as pre-teen girls. However, the summer also provided several months for these girls' bodies to change shape and mature. The lovely "blessings" of hormones that just keep on giving for decades to come.
The night before Jillian's first day of middle school, she fussed and fidgeted and frowned and fretted over her back-to-school outfit. Not so much about the outfit itself, but how she felt about herself in it. (us Mamas go there too!) Her body was changing and she was only seeing the changes in the mirror as ugly. My Mama vision was blurry with tears as I saw the beautiful. But she couldn't see it; she could only see the ugly side of beautiful. Much the same way my man sees the beautiful in me that my own eyes can't see.
As Jillian reunited with classmates that first day of middle school, she was quickly reminded of how much emphasis is placed on outward appearances. One friend announced her insecurity by blurting out she had gained weight over the summer. Another friend countered with her own insecurity by stating that she had lost weight over the summer. This Mama wanted to shout "you girls are in 6th grade!!! You have no idea what FAT really looks like! I can show you rolls and stretch marks and acne scars and wrinkles and........(gasp)cellulite!"
As Jillian reunited with classmates that first day of middle school, she was quickly reminded of how much emphasis is placed on outward appearances. One friend announced her insecurity by blurting out she had gained weight over the summer. Another friend countered with her own insecurity by stating that she had lost weight over the summer. This Mama wanted to shout "you girls are in 6th grade!!! You have no idea what FAT really looks like! I can show you rolls and stretch marks and acne scars and wrinkles and........(gasp)cellulite!"
Its hard and messy trying to breathe the truth of beauty into your girl when you struggle to find a breath of it for yourself. We are born yearning for beautiful, yet when our genuine beauty glows, we dismiss it and look to the world for validation. The ugly side of beautiful is that we never give up the pursuit of trying to find beautiful; while deep inside, we never believe we will truly find it. We think beautiful exists for everyone else but ourselves.
I wish I could close this blog with profound wisdom that has helped me overcome, but I can't. I'm still knee deep in my own beauty battle and now have a daughter who has joined me on the front lines. Because God designed us girls with the need to be found beautiful, and He Himself is the source of that treasure, I know where to find true beautiful. Its the digesting it, the claiming it, and the living it that keeps us stuck on the ugly and messy side of beautiful.
Lord Jesus, remove the scales of ugly covering the eyes and hearts of your daughters, so that we may see the beautiful, believe the beautiful, and live the beautiful.
Lord Jesus, remove the scales of ugly covering the eyes and hearts of your daughters, so that we may see the beautiful, believe the beautiful, and live the beautiful.
"He takes great delight in you, He rejoices over you with singing!" ~Zephaniah 3:17
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